This past week, a friend from an old small group reached out for some advice. A good friend of hers was going through IVF, and her sister was dealing with another devastating miscarriage. She felt helpless and asked if I had any specific verses for either of them.
Early in 2014, Bob and I started the journey to parenthood. We got pregnant that April but miscarried a week or so later. Fast forward to July, and we were elated to see that second link line again. Thankfully, my OB brought me in for an early ultrasound given my previous miscarriage. The yolk sac had developed but nothing else could be seen yet. We had a repeat ultrasound which confirmed our fear – no baby but a blighted ovum.
This story may resonate with you. Maybe you’ve had a miscarriage (or multiple). Maybe you’ve been struggling with infertility, or failed inseminations. But you know God has impressed upon your heart the desire to be a mom. The waiting for motherhood is riddled with anxiety, fear, anger, bitterness (I was the queen of it during that year), sadness.
I’d like to say I had my head on straight during that trying time. But once we were pregnant with P – though my fear of another miscarriage never fully subsided – I felt a little more at peace. There were a few verses I had on repeat in my head, so I’d love to share them with you.
These verses – specifically verse six – have become our life verses. God is giving us permission to make requests to him while telling us to trade our anxiety for His peace.
How do you give thanks in a season where you feel like God isn’t delivering on the family front? I took this verse as to 1) rejoice in him, 2) pray for what I wanted regularly (God wants us to talk to Him about our wants), and 3) thank Him for what he’s trying to teach me in the circumstance.
This verse has so many uses for so many situations. Each pregnancy, amidst the fear and anxiety, I had to remind myself to be “joyful in hope.” A friend once told me that she couldn’t allow her previous miscarriage to rob her of the joy she could have with subsequent pregnancies. As for patience in affliction – I feel like this could be a command from God. When you are struggling with infertility or perhaps going through the adoption process or even experiencing the loss of a pregnancy, your whole world seems to be focused on what God isn’t giving you (and that is a totally normal feeling). I mourn the loss of our two pregnancies each year, but I know God’s plan for us was to have P and C here on this earth instead. What do you think God’s plan is for you? If you are struggling with infertility – is it that He’s preparing you for another route to motherhood? If you are going through the adoption process, is He preparing your heart for selflessly bringing a child into your life?
Lastly, this verse just makes me feel like God has wrapped his arms around me in my time of supercharged anxiety. Like I could fall into His arms sobbing, and he will comfort me.
At the end of the day, God’s plans for our lives and future family really are way better than we could ever imagine. I know it’s tough to see through the dark tunnel when you’re in it. I KNOW because I’ve been there. But I’m also on the other side and see how He’s delivered. And I’m watching friends who have struggled with infertility be blessed with pregnancies (both with and without medical assistance) and friends who are getting to bring home babies through adoption and friends who are holding rainbow babies after multiple miscarriages. He IS faithful. He is always faithful.
If you are experiencing any of these struggles, I would love to hear from you so I can pray for you. Drop me a note at email@example.com. Hang in there, friend.